Following Brittany's post yesterday, I stumbled across numerous other bloggers who have recently posted on the topic of perfection. The main idea being that all too often, the blogs that we read (and write) tend to create this false idea that we ourselves, and our lives are perfect. I, of course, think that it's important to have a way to escape every once in a while, and for many of us, we find that in blogging, but sometimes wearing this mask can get tiring, and often times stressful.
I posted the other week that I wasn't feeling quite like myself and I do believe that a lot of that had to do with me bottling up feelings and playing a part. It's a hard thing to keep on doing.
In the spirit of what some of the above bloggers have done, I thought I would put on my brave face for once and share some of my own imperfections with my readers. Afterall, sometimes it's nice to know you're not alone in your imperfections and struggles... am I right?
- I am the most indecisive person ever. Not just when it comes to design decisions, but when it comes to ALL decisions. I'm often surprised that B still puts up with me and my ever changing decisions regarding my life, career and yes, place of residence. I think I tell him something new everyday... and he STILL supports me. (I must say, I'm surprised and thrilled that I'm still as passionate about design/decor and blogging as I was over a year ago!)
- I have a temper that I get from my father's side. I sometimes snap easily, and often get moody with B. Quite often, it's because I've bottled up other feelings, unsure of how to express them, and unfortunately I only feel safe letting them out inside of my own home. Sadly for B, he is the only person there and the worst of it falls on him. I'm always quick to apologize when I recognize I am doing this, and in an attempt to redeem myself, I always do my best to make up for my poor behaviour.
- I'm not a cook at ALL. I usually leave the cooking up to B, and surely don't help out as often as I should when it comes to this household chore. Why? I'm not creative or confident in the kitchen and need all the ingredients and a recipe in front of me to really get going. I'm also not very patient, and if it's a recipe that takes a lot of prep work and cooking time, for some reason I just can't handle it. Yet... baking, I can. Maybe it's because of my next imperfection...
- My horrible sweet tooth. I have very little will power when it comes to chocolate and baked goods. I'm working on it, and I do my best to avoid them... but if they're in front of me, it's next to impossible to say "No".
- Sometimes I worry to much about what people will think of me. This often results in me talking way too much (and I think people will find me annoying) or I just clam up (and then worry that everyone will think I am rude). It's really a big lose, lose situation, and afterwards I end up spending a few days worrying about what people think about me. The funny thing is, I actually worry a lot less than I used to... so that would be proof that I'm working to improve on this!
- I'm lazy. Period! I don't work out as often as I should, I'm sometimes slow on the house work, I procrastinate... and, well, you get the idea. Lazy.
- I often spend too much time worrying about the next step, rather than enjoying the moment. I worry if I'll ever make the long distance, overseas move that I have dreamed about since I was 19, and I worry about where I'm going with my career, and so on and so forth. I need to spend more time enjoying what I have (while still working towards what I want, of course).
To sum it up - my life is far from perfect, and I don't believe I try to pretend that it is when I blog. I'm often stressed out and tired between school, work, blogging and renovations, but I'm trying to follow my heart and doing the best I can day in and day out to make both myself, and B, happy. Of course, the two of us have our ups and downs. We're not a perfect couple by any means, and we work at our relationship... because relationships require work! However, at the end of every day when I can come home and tell him that I love him, and look at the not so perfect life we have created together, I am happy.
Our little family - Christmas 2009
When it comes down to it, I'm not looking for a perfect life. I'm looking for a life with B, filled with the people and things that we love. I know that there will be bumps, and disasters and heart break and all of the rest of the things that make life so imperfect - and I'm okay with that. I really just want to be happy...
Are any of my readers willing to open up and share some of their imperfections? In a comment or a post? If you write your own post, could you be so kind as to share a link? I'd love to get to know you all better... and these imperfections are all a part of what makes us who we are. Thanks for taking the time to get to know me a little better! :)